joke

i don’t know if it’s all boys or just the ones i’m around but i always feel like a joke.

i say something and they laugh

i see them in the halls and they turn around

and when they do talk to me i feel like something under a microscope as they find every detail they hate

and if they ask me to do something it’s only for their entertainment

i have to watch everything that comes out of my mouth

because if i say something wrong they will discuss it when i leave

these are people i was close with and cared about

i don’t know what i did

but when i’m around they look at me like i’m the stupidest thing they have ever seen

am i just not smart enough to understand what’s going on?

i hate that i care so much when i know they literally couldn’t care less

they use me like i’m only a body and nothing else

they see me as empty

i have so much going on inside

but they can’t see past themselves

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